“hey”

something has been bugging me for a while now and it has finally become so irksome that i’ve decided to address it in a special post.

when you send an email, there are 3 components; address, subject and message. the address should be self explanatory and the message is entirely up to you.

so can you guess what has me all pissed off today? the god damned ass sucking fucking subject line, that’s what.

for whatever reason, i have a ton of guys and (thankfully) some girls hitting on me every day on myspace (i haven’t embraced facebook yet but when i do, myspace can suck my cunt, they know why) so of course i get plenty of email.

my other, more popular blog, which is simply a disgusting diatribe against sarah palin and the rest of them generates a fat bag of letters each day as well.

now, imagine this: on a heavy day, you get 70 emails from 70 different people who lust after you or want to kill you. yes, i get death threats now and again, i regard them as most hallowed compliments and wish i had more.

i don’t get so much mail that i can’t respond to everything if i want. the problem arises when i can’t differentiate between emails because the subject is always the same: “hey”. this is a major problem on myspace. i am happy to receive your letters but the subject is always “hey” which is maddening. are you writing to pay a compliment? do you want to educate me in regard to hell and my eventual abode therein? perhaps you want to eat me, or watch your girlfriend eat me?

whatever the reason for your message, put it in the fucking subject line, please and thank you.

honestly, the only people among my correspondents who use their heads and make a grammatical attempt are the muslims who are offended by my “why i hate muslims” post. do i need to write a post on why i hate americans? i have plenty of material and i truly do hate you fat lazy pussies.

in closing; please choose 2 or 3 keywords to describe your message and stick them in the subject line just like the google. if you do, i will probably write you back. if you use “hey” i will mostly ignore your ass and if you leave the subject line blank like a retard, i will kick your nuts off.